


Never Coming Home

by PA_Cage



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Free Verse, Gen, Poetry, Self Harm, Suicide, triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 22:29:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1566323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PA_Cage/pseuds/PA_Cage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is what happens when you taint others with your darkness. Maybe you feel better, but they have nowhere to go but down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this about half a year after my ex committed suicide. It was somewhat inspired by The Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance.

I tore my soul open  
for you  
and poured the contents   
into your hands,  
trusting, blindly,  
that you knew what to do with  
all my hopes and dreams and secrets,  
but knowing  
in the depths of my heart  
that you were as clueless about me  
as I was about you.  
  
I whispered to you,  
in the late hours of the night,  
about the blood on my arms  
and the rips in my heart.  
You wept for me  
and promised over and over,  
" _Never again baby._ "  
  
And I believed you.  
And that was my mistake.  
  
And weeks later  
as I lay on the floor of my room,  
tracing my veins  
with fire and ice,  
I thought of you  
and I wept  
for the blood now dripping  
from your veins  
to the corners of my mind.  
  
It wasn't much later  
that I was whispering to you again,  
begging for your love,  
" _Please baby, it doesn't have to be this way._ "  
It gets better.  
  
And you believed me.   
And that was your mistake.  
  
Six months now  
and the shots are still ringing  
through my head.  
 ** _Bang Bang Bang_**  
Like I'm there,  
and you're here,  
and we didn't trade places.  
  
And sometimes,  
when I close my eyes,  
I can pretend  
for just a minute  
that your blood never  
left your veins,  
and your brains never  
left your head,  
and that I never  
came into your life.

**Author's Note:**

> Also posted on DA and FF under the same title.


End file.
